Since having Ava until relatively recently I have spent nearly every day looking after her and putting her needs before my own. And then when Esme joined the party I did the same for her. Whatever my girls needed I tried my best to provide it for them. That is unconditional love for you.
Instead I just tried to throw myself even more into motherhood and focus on its joys despite the voice in my head telling me I needed break.
I should I have listened to it: I should have taken more of the help sooner and more often and not felt like a failure or incapable as a result.
I suppose that is a silver lining of the separation, the me time I now get when the girls are having quality time with their Dad.
It allows me to just be me. Not a mother but just there to please my self without having to keep in mind someone else's needs or routine. And it is quite liberating!
I have time to drink cocktails and wear white jeans without the worry of sticky hands staining them. I can talk about adult things without the theme tunes of children's tv slowly driving me insane. I get to remind myself of the person I am in my own right.
And do you know what the best thing about it is?
It makes me a better mother for my girls, which is the most important thing to me in the world.
Top :: Zara // Jeans :: Jamie Jeans Topshop // Shoes :: Ralph Lauren // Bag :: Mulberry // Trench :: Burberry Brit