PRIDE & ACHIEVEMENTS

ABOUT ME // WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY

Today is World Mental Health Day, as you probably found out by reading the title of this blog post.  But what you probably do not know is how important this day is to me and why.

Despite posting pretty photos of outfits and focussing on the good parts of life, this blog unsurprisingly just shows a very small proportion of my life; my interests and me.  And the things I am about to share are something that I have only recently shared with some of my closest friends and that for a long long time I just kept to myself.

PERSPECTIVE // FREEDOM

Perspective is a funny thing.  It is defined as "a particular attitude towards or a way of regarding something"* and as a consequence is totally changeable depending on time, person, place etc.  

I always used to like a certainty which perspective is certainly not, which meant that I wanted my perspective to be affirmed by others to know I was right.  

BIKINIS & BODY CONFIDENCE

Bikinis are what nightmares are made of: fact. The reality of seeing my reflection in a changing room mirror where it seems all my lumps and bumps are on show, well it is no wonder I put it off buying them.

But this year I decided it was going to be different.  It was about time to face my lack of body confidence head on.

I have never been the most confident about the way I look: that is what glasses from a young age and a long period in the awkward years did to me.  But after Ava and Esme, well, it has to be said any body confidence I had had disappeared.  Suddenley my body had changed so much and it no longer felt like mine anymore.  There were lumps and bumps that hadn't been there before and this thought of "I'm a mother can I still wear this?" ran through my head far too often.  

COCKTAIL O' CLOCK // ME TIME

Since having Ava until relatively recently I have spent nearly every day looking after her and putting her needs before my own.  And then when Esme joined the party I did the same for her.  Whatever my girls needed I tried my best to provide it for them.  That is unconditional love for you.

EXPECTATIONS

Does anyone else think that expectations are cruel?  I do.  I think expectations have made my heartbreaks so much worse and made agony that little bit greater due to the dashed hopes and resounding disappointment.

TAKING A BREATH

Have you ever had that feeling of treading water but knowing that you can't keep it up and at some point you are just going to stop and go under the water?  That was me for the past year of my life.

Written down that seems so dramatic, but I promise you for the last year that is exactly how I have felt.  And then it all fell apart.