Today is World Mental Health Day, as you probably found out by reading the title of this blog post. But what you probably do not know is how important this day is to me and why.
Despite posting pretty photos of outfits and focussing on the good parts of life, this blog unsurprisingly just shows a very small proportion of my life; my interests and me. And the things I am about to share are something that I have only recently shared with some of my closest friends and that for a long long time I just kept to myself.
Postnatal depression is something that I have had first hand experience of after the birth of my youngest daughter Esme. It was such a dark time for me and a time which I find very hard to look back over without becoming upset and emotional. Each day was a struggle that I didn't really want to start and for months I just felt numb, I can't think of any other way of putting it.
Unfortunately I couldn't see what was going on and felt bad for feeling that way so kept my struggles to myself. Looking back I just wished I had asked for help sooner and if you feel like you something is not right please please talk to someone about it. I know that it might seen that you are being overly dramatic and silly but really you are not.
I believe that I am the only one who truly know my body and my mind and I know when something is not right, and if something isn't feeling right then go and seek help. There are so many people who want to help and some many little things that can be done. Just knowing I am not alone and not going mad was so reassuring in itself.
The other thing I have suffered with is anxiety and panic attacks. I know anxiety has become something that everyone suffers from and it has become more popular to talk about recently which I think is great as panic attacks are one of the worst things: just that feeling of not being able to breathe is awful.
My anxiety and panic attacks got out of control due to: the situation I was in; the resulting experiences I was having as a consequence; and the demise of my marriage. I think it is important to bear in mind when going through stressful situations like these that it is so important to consider your mental health and well being and to try and confide in someone.
Out of loyalty I didn't confide in anyone and it took its toll and I am still working on the repercussions of that situation and the effects it has on me mentally.
But with the right help the panic attacks can abate and little steps can be taken forward. In the last six months I have come so far after starting counselling and finding the right counsellor for me. I am much stronger and acknowledge the signs and address them before they have chance to get out of control.
With anything physical we would book a doctors appointment without hesitation but it seems that we do not check up on mental health the same way and I really hope that this changes.
If you are going through anything then please talk to someone be it a relative, a friend, a medical professional or just someone on the end of a phone line who works for a support service. Just talking will help so much I promise. I have been there and my only regret is not asking for help sooner.
Lots of love