AFTERNOON TEA & SELF LOVE

A kid free Saturday mean afternoon tea with the girls in Harvey Nichols, because why ever not?  Lots of little sandwiches were eaten along with scones and decadent cakes.  And so much tea was drunk.  I love tea but even I might have been all tee-ed out by the end.

The best part was the company and the long winding chats and my eureka moment.

ME, MYSELF & I

"How would you describe yourself in three words?"

When I hear that question being asked immediately: my heart rate quickens; my foot begins to twitch; and my palms begin to sweat.  

I know it brings out the best in me.

And at that moment I feel like replying with "At this moment?  Wanting to run!"

GETTING OUT OF A RUT // HACKS & TIPS

So I did that really annoying thing of saying I will post regularly and  then going AWOL.  

I know great blogger in the making....

But things have been happening in my offline life I assure you, just not things I can or want to share on here.  I am still trying to figure out exactly what I do or don't want to share especially when it comes to the girls but big school starting milestones have been this week so my attention has been focussed over there.

PERSPECTIVE // FREEDOM

Perspective is a funny thing.  It is defined as "a particular attitude towards or a way of regarding something"* and as a consequence is totally changeable depending on time, person, place etc.  

I always used to like a certainty which perspective is certainly not, which meant that I wanted my perspective to be affirmed by others to know I was right.  

BIKINIS & BODY CONFIDENCE

Bikinis are what nightmares are made of: fact. The reality of seeing my reflection in a changing room mirror where it seems all my lumps and bumps are on show, well it is no wonder I put it off buying them.

But this year I decided it was going to be different.  It was about time to face my lack of body confidence head on.

I have never been the most confident about the way I look: that is what glasses from a young age and a long period in the awkward years did to me.  But after Ava and Esme, well, it has to be said any body confidence I had had disappeared.  Suddenley my body had changed so much and it no longer felt like mine anymore.  There were lumps and bumps that hadn't been there before and this thought of "I'm a mother can I still wear this?" ran through my head far too often.  

FALLING // STEPPING AWAY

I care a lot about a lot of things.  I am loyal to the point of self destruction, and try and see the good in everyone, attempting to bring it out sometimes at my own expense.

It is just who I am.

TAKING A BREATH

Have you ever had that feeling of treading water but knowing that you can't keep it up and at some point you are just going to stop and go under the water?  That was me for the past year of my life.

Written down that seems so dramatic, but I promise you for the last year that is exactly how I have felt.  And then it all fell apart. 

IT'S ALL ABOUT ME // IDENTITY & SELF

I think everyone goes through stages in their life when they kind of lose who they are, I know I definitely have and it makes me feel indecisive and lacking any sort of confidence.

I remember going through it in those awkward teenage years when I wanted to be in the group which meant bending my personality and taste to reflect my peer group; then there was when I was in a long term relationship and almost my husband  and I became one in terms of identity; and most recently my individual identity has become dominated by the job of being a mother and the two little girls I adore.